I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
