You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
