i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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