You just made me feel so damn special
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
