those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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