Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
