dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
