dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
