If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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