You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
