3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
