And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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