I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
