Welp...herpes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
