I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
