I hate your face
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
