please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
