I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's never too late to be topless.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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