I feel like abortions should bother me more
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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