When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
organizing the empties. That sober.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
