i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
