he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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