so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
