So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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