Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
