Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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