Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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