That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
