I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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