oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
