so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
