No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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