I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
