dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
