The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
