I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
