I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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