At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's the barista slut.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
