when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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