i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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