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I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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