there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
