I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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