so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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