So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
