you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
