its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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