We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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