I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
