No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
