i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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