I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
