Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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