Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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